Welcome! I’m Kirstin (Keer-stin). I used to know how to relax. I could log some serious couch time with the latest Oprah’s Book Club title, or several back-to-back-to-back episodes from the Reno 911 box set (don’t judge). I’d go on hikes and long bike rides, swim lazily in local ponds and rivers, take yoga classes. I once enjoyed cooking and baking, knitting and writing. Traveling, conversing with friends, going out to dinner. And then, I got married to a wonderful man and devoted partner. And for about nine months after the honeymoon, we enjoyed relaxing together.
And then, our first daughter was born. Two years later, another daughter blessed our lives. I find my days are now filled with stress and endless to-do lists, frenzied activity mixed with bouts of irritability and rage. Of course, I’d be remiss if I didn’t say there is lots of joy and laughter in our house too. Our girls are completely hilarious right now.
Friends and acquaintances may be surprised to hear me say I’m not a mellow mama; on the surface I probably appear calm and well-balanced most days. Rest assured, however, that down deep I am worried about something I cannot control. Overwhelmed at times to the point of not being able to move forward. Disappointed that I’m somehow not living up to my fullest potential.
Restless Roost is first and foremost a space for a consistent writing practice. It is the answer to a challenge to find something about which I am passionate. In the busy blur that is my life, the constant motion and activity involved in working full-time as a public school educator, co-parenting two little girls, and an infant son—I find it difficult, if not impossible to make time for myself. I am no longer good at resting or relaxing. I should be doing something now, right? I have a hard time concentrating on any one thing because my mind is preoccupied with a hundred other little things. I suffer from anxiety. I am a professional procrastinator. I see the glass often as half empty. I spend most of my free time, of which there is very little, cleaning and doing meaningless chores. I get easily caught up in the hustle and bustle of the everyday, taking little time to be still and consider that which really matters.
This blog is my attempt at changing that—an endeavor to reclaim part of the me that used to make time for herself. Who knows? Maybe along the way I’ll learn how to relax again. If not, I can at least look forward to twenty years from now, when the last of the babies will have hopefully left the roost. Surely then there will be time to rest.