Category Archives: FrannyTalk

On the eve of the terrible twos.

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Our youngest will be two in just over a month, but I fear we are witnessing early moments of the dreaded terrible twos phase already. In addition to shouting “No!” to multiple family members multiple times a day to express her unhappiness about some situation, she has also taken to hitting—well, more like swatting—her sister, and throwing herself down on the floor with lots of hysterical screaming and crying when she is reprimanded or told no.

And if this weren’t bad enough, she wakes up and insists on talking in a grouchy, hateful tone to everyone about just about everything. The dragon voice usually fades at some point, but returns without warning off and on throughout the day.

Me: What do you want for breakfast, Frances? Eggs?

Frances: No! No eggs. Me no eggs! No breakfast!

As if the first response was not emphatic enough. Sheesh.

Me: OK, let’s go change your diaper then.

Frances: (with disgusted look on face) No! No biper! No wipe! Runs away and hides under the table or behind the couch.

Nora: (trying to be helpful and supportive) Come on, Frances. Let’s go into the bedroom and change your diaper. 

Frances: No, Nor-nor, no! (runs at sister and swats pathetically in her general direction, maybe connecting, maybe not, but in any case, not with enough force to actually hurt)

Nora: (runs away wimpily) Mommy! Mommy! Frances is trying to hit me!

Me: Seriously?!?!?!

Frances has also been teething, so perhaps this is part of the cause of the nastiness. I recall Liam’s brother-in-law once saying he and his wife blamed every unfortunate behavior their sons ever displayed from birth through age four on teething. I’m of the mind to do the same thing here.

Thankfully we didn’t have to deal with too many tantrums with Nora. I think this was because she was always able to express herself adequately. And, we could reason with her when she was upset. Frances lacks the verbal skills her older sister had at this age, so I’m expecting the frustration level to remain high.

On a brighter note, at church last Sunday, Frances showed a slightly more angelic side of herself when she began making the sign of the cross haphazardly, over and over again during the second reading. She looked like a confused third base coach giving signs to a runner, but Liam and I recognized her actions right away from practicing saying grace before dinner each night. Also, she accompanied me to the bathroom at one point during the middle of Mass. Upon walking back inside the church, she paused thoughtfully and genuflected on her own, entering the pew ahead of me. After several of us who witnessed the event enjoyed a chuckle at her expense, Liam leaned over and proudly exclaimed in a voice slightly above a whisper, “She’s going to become a nun.”

After observing her behavior this past week I am quite sure he has reconsidered this thought. Right now I am thinking drama queen. Major drama queen. We might be in trouble here.

Eat! Ass!

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Our 21-month-old is very smart. She has a great memory. She loves songs and books and being silly. But a clear talker, she is not. Our oldest had probably a 200+ word vocabulary at this age. She was singing full verses of songs, recognized nearly every letter of the alphabet, and was stringing words together to make sentences, like, I want nurse pease, mama. Now. She was, and remains, a very verbal child.

Frances wouldn’t know a letter of the alphabet if it jumped off the page and smacked her in the face, while screaming “I’m a B!” “B?” she’d probably say to herself, and then maybe she would buzz about the house like the insect. More likely, though, she would point her finger at the B and then shout, “Nnnno!” (her response to most things and people these days).

Frances gives new meaning to the phrase multiple-meaning words, as much of what she says now doubles for two words (see below for some examples). The good news is, Nora, Liam and I have gotten very good at interpreting, so we can usually figure out what she is trying to say.

Some of her favorite, most used words and phrases right now are listed below, along with a translation.

Me: Frances (Poor thing can’t say her own name—I can’t tell you how sad this makes me. Although in recent days she has been making some progress—“Mee-cess” now comes out on occasion, with some prompting)

Nor-nor: Nora

Nay-nay: thank you or “Candace” (The latter is the name of our babysitter. These two are especially funny when combined together, as in Thank you, Candace.— “Nay-Nay, Nay-Nay”‘)

Pee!: Please

Boppy: coffee or “Frosty” (as in, the snowman)

Daddy/Dawdy: daddy or doggie

Moddy: my favorite, a mash-up of mommy and daddy (she usually uses this one when she is tired or angry, and doesn’t know who she wants, and so it never comes out right)

Dammy: similar to Moddy, except she begins with Daddy and ends with Mommy

Me’ere: Come here

Ear-are: there/here it is, or there/here they are

Eat!: I’m hungry! (This is her first word EVERY morning upon waking)

Ass: eggs (What she demands every morning, just after she shouts, “Eat!”). Great. Eat! Ass!

Meal: oatmeal (reserved for the days she doesn’t feel like eating ass)

Ole-you: (not an insult, as it may first appear) Can you hold me, please?

Bone: phone (She likes to grab hold of this when I’m not around and punch numbers into the locked keypad repeatedly until she renders it inaccessible for many minutes on end, sometimes in a foreign language. How she does this? I do not know.)

Pee-pas: pictures (the reason she wants the bone in the first place, so she can view images of her and her sister, Nor-nor.)

Moy: more

Noy: nurse

Bubby: tubby (bath)

Since I began with a comparison of both girls in which Frances appeared to be the lesser of the two, I’ll end on a note in which she comes out ahead. Frances is a much more happy, far less grumpy and serious, more affectionate and overall more delightful child than her sister. She’s also way more physical and daring than Nora. And, her vocabulary is really starting to grow with each passing day.

Before Frances was born Liam and I had concerns we could love another child as much as we loved Nora. We needn’t have been worried. Our Franny is hysterical, adorable, cuddly and the most easy child to love—that is, if you ignore the selfish, screeching, pointing-demanding phase that she’s going through right now. Which is actually really hard to do now that I think about it. Thank goodness she’s so stinking cute. Her life might be in danger otherwise.