Top nine signs our family is well on the way to being well again (I tried to come up with ten, but I couldn’t, and now it is late and time for bed).

Disclaimer: Liam wants it noted that he is not on board with this title. He is not convinced we are yet well. He’s getting the girls’ cold, and if I’m honest, I’ll tell you I have a sore throat now too. But anyway, let’s look at the positives:

9. No one has puked in our house in the past seventy-two hours.

8. The girls have resumed arguing with one another. I never thought I would feel relieved to hear them screaming at each other, but after days and days of listlessness, it was nice to see some energy and enthusiasm. Ah! There are the girls I know and love. Of course, now, after two days of it, I’m done enjoying it, and back to, “Shuuuuut uuuup!” (which I only say loudly in my head; on the outside I try to keep calm and help them to solve their own problems).

7. We all enjoyed two nights of home-cooked meals this week after days and days of eating scraps of crackers and pretzels, bananas and toast, applesauce, orange Gatorade and Ginger Ale, only to feel nauseous time and again.

6. We are now able to see patches of carpet in between piles of toys, papers, clothing, and balled up used tissues on the floor in our living room.

5. I once again have a drawer full of clean underwear and the girls have pairs of matching socks in their drawers (they were doing the mismatched thing for a few days).

4. Liam has his first golf outing of the season scheduled for this weekend, along with my dad and my brother.

3. The dishes are mostly clean and put back in cupboards, thanks be to God and Candace, a friend who wasn’t afraid to enter our home on account of the fact that her family got sick at the same time we did.

2. We felt solid enough to try drinking beer last night. After the week we’ve had, I’ll admit I had a hard time not chugging that delicious Magic Hat #9 like it was the first Natty Lite at a freshman dorm party in 1997 with Bone Thugs playing in the background. Why they kill my dog, and man I miss my Uncle Charles, y’all.

1. We got to leave the house and make a social call to my sister’s place last night. After days of feeling quarantined, we accepted my sister’s offer to cook dinner for us. The kids got to play outside with their cousins and got lots of fresh air.

However, right before we left, my nephew began to feel queasy. Oh no.

“It can’t be from us!” I said. “We’ve only been here for three hours! I know the bug we had is not that contagious!”

“I know,” my sister said, reassuringly.

Then she promptly scolded her boy for trying to give our girls goodbye hugs. 

“Miles! Leave the girls alone. You don’t want to give the germs back to them, do you?”

“Oh my God,” I said. “Can you even do that?”

Well, can you? 

I sure as hell hope not.

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