We hardly ever play the lottery. But last Saturday night, we threw financial caution to the wind and purchased five quick pick tickets. Why five? Because my spouse suggested we get one for each member of the family, of course. Little baby Rowan needs his own quick pick. Totally reasonable. And ten dollars seemed like a decent—if not impossibly unlikely—investment for a potential windfall return.
Alas, you know: we did not win. And now the fortune is in the billions. Isn’t it fun to think about winning? It’s gotten to the point where we actually feel like we have a good chance of doing so. What a laugh!
Just tonight, during dinner, Liam and I were talking about how we need to purchase five more tickets tomorrow before the next drawing. And then we got to talking about what it would be like to win.
How would we share the money with everyone we knew?
Would we give out cash? Or just buy gifts for everyone?
Who wouldn’t love an iPad? Or a flat screen?
Give equally to family and friends? Give more to those we liked better? Like some kind of sliding scale based on preference?
Or reward based solely on need? Like, give our struggling friends and family money to pay off debts, but only buy a coupla Dunkin’ Donuts gift cards for those who seem to be doing quite nicely?
Then we got to talking about what we’d do for ourselves. I mean, after donating to the requisite charities, getting the nation out of debt, and ending world hunger and homelessness.
Liam would like to buy several houses. And travel for the rest of our lives. I can’t say I’m not on board with that. Also, hiring a nanny and a professional house cleaner and laundress would be paramount. I imagine I’d still like to cook if I didn’t have to mind the children 24/7 and keep up with the housework. Oh, and I’d buy fresh flowers every week to display in abundant bouquets in vases featured around our new house(s). Not a mansion, mind you. I’d say three thousand square feet should do nicely. With a pool. And a jacuzzi.
Before we knew it, we were getting quite carried away. Well, at least one of us was.
Liam: “But then we’d be famous. We’d hate that. We’d be on the news for winning the largest jackpot in history. Everyone would know about us. And we’d have to make an appearance on the Today show. That would be awful.”
And that, friends, is when I decided we had carried on long enough. Mention of our family’s guest spot on the Today show, as if it were an impending event, is where I draw the line.
We want to wish you luck if you’re playing too. But just so you know, friends, should you win and decide to use our need-based sliding scale to dole out a little extra to your loved ones, we are definitely not in the Dunkin’ Donuts gift card camp. We need all the help we can get. Be generous, please. ☺️