Author Archives: powerskirstin

Yes, we too have succumbed to Lotto Fever.

We hardly ever play the lottery. But last Saturday night, we threw financial caution to the wind and purchased five quick pick tickets. Why five? Because my spouse suggested we get one for each member of the family, of course. Little baby Rowan needs his own quick pick. Totally reasonable. And ten dollars seemed like a decent—if not impossibly unlikely—investment for a potential windfall return.

Alas, you know: we did not win. And now the fortune is in the billions. Isn’t it fun to think about winning? It’s gotten to the point where we actually feel like we have a good chance of doing so. What a laugh!

Just tonight, during dinner, Liam and I were talking about how we need to purchase five more tickets tomorrow before the next drawing. And then we got to talking about what it would be like to win. 

How would we share the money with everyone we knew? 

Would we give out cash? Or just buy gifts for everyone? 

Who wouldn’t love an iPad? Or a flat screen? 

Give equally to family and friends? Give more to those we liked better? Like some kind of sliding scale based on preference? 

Or reward based solely on need? Like, give our struggling friends and family money to pay off debts, but only buy a coupla Dunkin’ Donuts gift cards for those who seem to be doing quite nicely?

Then we got to talking about what we’d do for ourselves. I mean, after donating to the requisite charities, getting the nation out of debt, and ending world hunger and homelessness.

Liam would like to buy several houses. And travel for the rest of our lives. I can’t say I’m not on board with that. Also, hiring a nanny and a professional house cleaner and laundress would be paramount. I imagine I’d still like to cook if I didn’t have to mind the children 24/7 and keep up with the housework. Oh, and I’d buy fresh flowers every week to display in abundant bouquets in vases featured around our new house(s). Not a mansion, mind you. I’d say three thousand square feet should do nicely. With a pool. And a jacuzzi.

Before we knew it, we were getting quite carried away. Well, at least one of us was.

Liam: “But then we’d be famous. We’d hate that. We’d be on the news for winning the largest jackpot in history. Everyone would know about us. And we’d have to make an appearance on the Today show. That would be awful.”

And that, friends, is when I decided we had carried on long enough. Mention of our family’s guest spot on the Today show, as if it were an impending event, is where I draw the line.

We want to wish you luck if you’re playing too. But just so you know, friends, should you win and decide to use our need-based sliding scale to dole out a little extra to your loved ones, we are definitely not in the Dunkin’ Donuts gift card camp. We need all the help we can get. Be generous, please. ☺️

One year. And four days later.

The blog just celebrated an anniversary. Wahoo! And, it even has a proper address now. Instead of living at the free wordpress.com site, it now resides happily—for just $18/year—at http://www.restlessroost.com. You’ll find the old address still works too.

On January 1st, the people at WordPress sent me some interesting stats from the past year. Included in the report was the below graphic, which I thought was pretty interesting. And humorous, if not at the same time depressing.

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It’s sort of like a pictorial insight into the craziness of our lives, and specifically, the frenzied state of my mind. Last January, I posted every day for thirty-one days. In February, I missed just one day (gotta love that resolution time of year!). Even March was impressive. Of course, there were just two children then. And the hubs came home for supper; his work had yet to crank up into crazy overtime.

Then, in early April, the baby came home. I still enjoyed some leisurely writing, it seems, up until about July and August. That would have been the peak of planting season and Liam’s hours at the co-op. September brought with it the reality of back-to-work. Poor October. Poor, poor October. The month of working and packing and moving. November and December haven’t fared much better, I’m afraid.

And January 2016? Well, that remains to be seen, I guess. I’m hopeful the blog will continue. I’m also hopeful that I’ll pick up a rhythm once again. We are mostly settled into our home and Connecticut routine. However, our days these days are so full, and so noisy, I find it hard to find the time and the quiet within which to think about writing. I only think about and stress about how I’m not writing.

So here’s to a new year. And new inspiration. To being kind to myself. To writing when I can. And being OK about it all when I can’t .

And to you out there reading—thanks for being along for the ride!

Inappropriate homeschooling and a case of mistaken bad parenting.

I’ve been beating myself up lately because I had all of these notions about how I would work with the girls—Nora especially, since we pulled her from her Montessori school when we moved—on literacy and math skills, now that I’m home. Nora’s been reading simple words for almost a year and delights in finding sums to simple arithmetic problems. And Frances is starting to recognize and write some of her letters. With my background and experience it makes sense that I should work with them at home.

I’ve found, however, that I lack the patience and discipline it takes to run a proper homeschool. The girls are definitely getting solid skills in playing make-believe, which I know is really important. They’re into building with blocks and legos. They help me bake, do dishes, and clean up. And, we’ve been spending loads of time outdoors and reading library books. So, they’re certainly not suffering from lack of enriching activities. I just feel guilty about not working more on academics because Nora seemed to be thriving cognitively in her school environment.

On her last day of school, Nora brought home a composition book. Apparently, she had been spelling words as part of the Montessori work she chose to do. In order to continue to fit the practice in, I encouraged Nora to bring the book into the car with her. This is the only place I’ve found that works for us right now. So, while I drive us around town, I give her words that have some common phonics patterns. For example, she spells lists of /st/ words. Or /ip/ words.

This afternoon, while the family was driving home from a weekend spent in Newport with cousins, Liam and I took turns calling out /ut/ words. We began with nut. Then, rut. I challenged her with shut and she got it. I tried to get her to spell butt, knowing she would neglect the second letter t, but wanting to get a reaction from the silly word. Nora just giggled nervously and said she didn’t want that one. She’s much too wholesome to be dealing with her mother’s potty-mouth.

Not her sister. Frances, who’d been listening up to that point, chimed in next with, “I’ve got a silly one. How about vaaa-giiiii-naaah.”

Should’ve seen that one coming. Needless to say, the family was on a roll. Which is why, I’m guessing, my husband decided to throw out the next word: slut.

I mean, it did fit the phonological pattern, but come on. Of course it was this word she had difficulty hearing, so he and I had to repeat it—shout it, really—about five times. We confessed it was a nonsense word. And then giggled ridiculously each time we said it. So immature we are.

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Which brings me to the second story involving the same word. Again with slut. Those of you who know the family—my family—may very well have heard this one before. It’s a favorite.

When my sister, Melissa, was in first grade, she also had a composition book in which to record spelling words. Typically, the teacher would assign words, my sister would write them at home, my parents would check that they looked OK, and then the book would go back to school to be examined by the teacher.

On the evening of the /sl/ words, my sister wrote a bunch of words and my parents forgot to check them. The next night, when my parents were flipping back through the pages, they noticed that she had written the word slut the night before. And, while the word had been marked correct by the teacher, they became concerned. How can she know this word? Where did she hear it? What must her teacher think of us for not having caught this? 

My parents called my sister over to read her words.

When Melissa got to the word in question, without missing a beat, she read, “Slute.”

Slute?” my parents said.

“You know,” she replied. “Slute. Like when you slute the flag.”

Gotta love kid writing.

 

 

 

 

Heard around the house.

Liam: “Are you sleepy Frances?”

Frances: “No. I just tired.”

———————–

Nora: “Daddy. In how many months is Mommy’s birthday?”

Liam: “Four. What do you think we should get Mommy for her birthday?”

Nora: “Mommy? What is your most favorite thing to play with? Ever?”

Me: (thinking…)

Frances: (interjecting) “Eyebrows!”

Me: Umm. What?!

Nora: “Oh! I’ve got a great idea! A jack-in-the-box!”

Apparently my kids do not know me at all.

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And, a day just wouldn’t be complete without a question or two about God and/or Heaven.

Nora: “Mama? Does God have a million eyes?”

Me: “I’m not sure. Why?”

Nora: “Because that’s how he can see everyone all the time.”

Me: “Oh. Well, maybe.”

—–

Nora: “Mom? How did God make the first baby, like ever, without a mom or something like that?”

Me: “I don’t know, Nora. But that’s a really great question.”

—–

Nora: “You wanna know my favorite place in the whole world?”

Me: “Huh?”

Nora: “Heaven. Because Daddy said you can get all the chocolate ice cream and cake you ever want when you get there.”

Me: “Yep.” (gulp!)

—–

And finally:

Nora: “Was God ever a baby?”

Me: “No, I don’t think so.”

Nora: “I think he was. Like a long time ago. Before he made the dinosaurs and all that stuff.”

———————–

Nora: “Mom? You know what I wanna be when I grow up?”

Me: “What’s that, honey?”

Nora: “A doctor. So I can take care of people when they’re sick.”

Me: “Well. That would be great.”

Frances: “When I be a grown up I wanna cut fruit.”

Me: “OK.” (pause) “Well, that would be great too!”

Heaven help us.

‘Tis the season for lying about Santa, Elf on the Shelf, and trying not to murder your spouse when putting up and righting the Christmas tree.

Our oldest girl asked recently if the Santa with whom she took her picture last Christmas was the real Santa. After a brief glance toward the hubs and a pause that lasted perhaps two seconds too long, I replied unsteadily, “I’m not sure. It’s hard to say if that was the real Santa, or one of Santa’s helpers.”

“Huh?” she asked, rightfully confused.

“Well,” I stammered, “Santa has helper elves that look just like him. So, sometimes we see the real Santa, and sometimes it’s just one of his elves. We can never tell.”

“Oh,” she said, digesting the information. And then she walked away, as if it were just all too much to consider.

The hubs and I exchanged another glance and then agreed we felt quite ridiculous lying to our daughter about the bearded man in a red suit with flying reindeer. I mean, the whole Santa thing is absurd, really. But we also agreed we didn’t want to rob her of the magic and mystery of Christmas that we both experienced as young children.

I’m just dreading the day that she comes home from school—like I did some time in the early elementary years—and tells us how someone in her class told her that Santa is make-believe, and instead of taking him at his word, confronts us with the issue and explains how she didn’t believe the kid because her mommy and daddy would never lie to her.

Well, until then, we will just keep participating in the ludicrous lie that is Santa Claus.

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Moving on. Elf on the Shelf. I never intended to have one because I fancy myself unconventional. And also, I felt a little uncertain about threatening my pretty well-behaved kid with a tale about an ever-watching twelve-inched stuffed sprite who reports back to Santa.

However, last year, an Elf was gifted to us by a family member. So, I opened the box in secret, read through the book, and took one evening, right before bed, to introduce the Elf and the whole far-fetched concept to Nora.

Needless to say, she was terrified. Most kids may accept at face value the idea that Santa would send a household elf to watch over a family and tattle back if necessary; not this kid. Watching her face process the silly—and admittedly frightening—scheme was priceless. After two nights and mornings of talking about the Elf and witnessing his flights of fancy, she bravely asked if we could mail the Elf back to Santa. Like, immediately.

And so we did. More lies.

The Elf went back into the box and she and I later talked about how he might return when she was a year older. Better able to handle the thought that some weird creature was flying about her house by night and watching her every move by day. Because that’s not creepy at all for a kid.

At this point, I haven’t yet decided if the Elf will join our family again this year or not. But, I will admit to having changed my mind about using a sprite to threaten my kids into behaving properly. These days, I need all the help I can get.

————-

Every year I DREAD having to put up the Christmas tree. Dread. This probably stems from the trauma of childhood Christmases and watching my dad under the tree, year after year with the tree stand, tightening and loosening this screw and that, rotating and twirling trunks left and right. All while my mom insisted over and over again that the damn thing still wasn’t straight. Wasn’t showing its best side. We children held our collective breaths and winced while our dad stomped off and stormed around a bit until he had calmed down enough to try again. We silently urged our mom to just say good enough is good enough. But it had to all be perfect.

Now that I’m one-half of the tree-putting-up committee at my own house, I’ve learned to expect less than perfection for sanity’s sake. Still, adjusting those stubborn screws and getting that damn conifer to stand straight is a HUGE pain in the arse.

On top of all of this stress, I fear we have lost the tree stand in the recent move. Which means we may need to purchase a new one. I was browsing today on Amazon and discovered a few brands that people claim will save marriages and should be invested in no matter the high cost of $100.

One hundred dollars for a tree stand?! You’ve got to be effing kidding me! For one hundred dollars, included in that deal better freaking be Bing Crosby himself come back from the dead to hold the trunk merrily, all while singing “White Christmas” round the clock for our family and holiday guests. Sheesh.

On second thought. I guess it does beat the cost of having to pay for counseling and/or a divorce lawyer. I think I’ll have to sleep on it.

 

Forgetting my kid’s name and Kiki the navigational voice of the car GPS.

Ever since my son Rowan arrived on the scene—nearly eight months ago now—there’s this weird thing that happens every time we are around my nephew Desmond. I call Desmond Rowan, and Rowan Desmond. So when I wonder aloud, “Desmond, do you need your diaper changed?” people look at me oddly, because Desmond is in second grade and has not worn a diaper for years and years. Additionally, when I look at the second grader and call him Rowan, he cracks up and gives me this look like he’s thinking: Again, you crazy lady? Haven’t you figured this out yet?

Apparently, I haven’t. It used to not be such a big deal as we only saw our Connecticut family several times a year. The occasional mix-up was just a silly reflection of my muddled brain’s state of ever-confusion. However, now that we are living here, I can see it becoming more of an issue. Desmond thinks I make the mistake because the boys look so similar. While Rowan does resemble Desmond as an infant, there is no ignoring the fact that one kid is a GIANT, and the other is still crawling about on all fours.

It could be that the names are somewhat similar; they both have two syllables and end with an /n/ sound. Whatever the cause of my bizarre error, I need to work on some kind of strategy for keeping the names straight, as we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other, and I’d like to not be known as batty old Aunt Kirstin before I’ve yet hit my fortieth birthday.

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We’ve settled into our new temporary home in Connecticut. There are still boxes to be unpacked. And, while I fear those same boxes may need unpacking months from now, the essentials have been put away and there is room now to walk about, and in fact, live comfortably.

Although we have been coming to Connecticut to visit friends and family for the past seven or eight years, I’ve never really paid much attention to the routes we’ve taken or the landmarks we’ve passed on our journeys back and forth. And, let’s face it, even if I had, I was not born with the same inner compass that my dad, my husband, and even my sister, Melissa have. You know, the kind of people who can visit a place once and then always remember how to get around there, even years later. I, on the other hand, am perpetually lost and directionally challenged.

To illustrate this point, I will share with you a couple of examples.

Last year, when I taught fourth grade, I exited my classroom and turned to the right to get to the rooms of the other fourth grade teachers. At the start of this school year, I moved to fifth grade, where I needed to turn left to get to the other teachers’ rooms. Up until two weeks ago, I was still making wrong turns as I came out of my classroom door and other teachers’ doors. Additionally, I would come up from the main office stairs and walk back to my old hallway, and then realize it, and abruptly turn around.

When I take the back roads from the retail outlets to my parents’ home in Pennsylvania, I always take one of two routes. However, depending on the route, I have to take a right or left turn when I come to the end of this one road. I can NEVER remember which way to go. I often guess incorrectly, and need to make a u-turn to get back on the right track. Unfortunately, my girls are used to me getting lost and making wrong turns.

Since I’ve been home with the kids here in Connecticut, and Liam’s been working, we’ve been out and about exploring local attractions. Grocery stores, children’s museums, libraries. Naturally, I’ve had to rely on the GPS on my iPhone to get us places.

The other day, after the female voice of the navigation system instructed me to turn right onto Bank Street in two-point-seven miles, Nora asked, “Mommy, who is that?”

“Hmmm?” I said absentmindedly.

“That lady talking. Who is that?”

“It’s just the voice on the phone telling me how to get where we’re going,” I said.

“But, what’s her name?” Nora said.

“She doesn’t have a name,” I said. And then, after a pause, “Should we give her one?”

“Yeah,” Nora said. Then giggled. As if she understood the absurdity of it all.

“What should we call her?” I asked the girls.

Nora suggested Kiki since that’s been Frances’s favorite go-to name lately for all things make-believe. After I laughed out loud at the suggestion, I agreed that the voice should be called Kiki.

The other day I told the girls that I was going to try and find our way without using the map on the phone. However, after one of the roads with which I was familiar was blocked due to construction, I had to resort to using my crutch. I told the girls I needed to consult my phone after all in order to find our way.

“You mean you need to get help from Kiki?” Nora asked.

“Yes, I need to get help from Kiki.” I admitted in all seriousness.

And about a hundred other mental health professionals while we’re at it.

A love letter to the first house I lived in with my husband, and the one to which all my babies came home to after they were born, on the eve of our departure.

Dear modest two-bedroom rancher on a corner lot with a huge yard and a garage door that seldom closed on its own without some kind of applied brute force:

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Our first house.

Seven years and three months ago we moved in. There were just two of us then. We were pleased to have found you, even if your wooden kitchen cabinets overwhelmed us with their, well, woodiness. And even if your dirty white vinyl siding never quite appealed to us.

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Woody cabinets. Too much, right?

You welcomed us with open rooms—six, to be exact. Seven if you include the half-finished basement that for years I refused to enter except to do laundry, for fear that mold and mildew and cobwebs would compromise my immune system. And, there was that one time when Nora was an infant and we took refuge there during a tornado warning, even though Liam insisted on telling me the whole time I was being ridiculous.

Over the years though, basement, you grew on me. Kind of. I spruced you up with furniture and covered your drab wood-paneled walls with colorful bunting. I set up a doll house and a train table. A handmade teepee hideout. I transformed you into a sort of kid play space. I tried to ignore the darkness and the presence of the occasional mouse nest and the rotting window wood as best I could, so that on cold, wet days my kids could enjoy playing somewhere other than the living room.

Thank you for watching over the girls and for keeping them from concussing their little heads on your hard cement floors, covered only by an old, worn out carpet, maybe an eighth of an inch thick. Thank you also for preventing them from falling down your scary dangerous, steep, wooden stairs, with the hand rail so high, the kids couldn’t even attempt to reach it until they were two. I’ll admit to you now, them falling was one of my worst fears. Maybe you always suspected that though, because, when I wasn’t hovering near the top of the stairs holding my breath as I watched the girls go down, I was forever cautioning them to take their time and not push one another, or else walking in front of them should I need to break their fall. I have to confess. I am glad the boy will be elsewhere when he learns to walk. He is crawling swiftly and steadily climbing already just shy of seven months old. I fear for his physicality and can only imagine how recklessly he would have handled your stairs.

Basement, you saw us through the exchange of countless washers and dryers. The filling and dumping of a rusty old dehumidifier. The storage of loads of photos and baby clothes and camping gear and important documents and random furniture we couldn’t bear to throw out. Lastly, I’ll never forget your sump pump with the gnarly rotting wood covering the hole that led down to the well that will always remind me of the one that Baby Jessica fell into back in the 1980s. Thanks be to God that none of our babies fell down that well like she did all those years ago in Texas.

I will miss your spacious yard and magical trees maybe the most of all. Not raking your fall leaves, mind you, an annual activity I really could have done without. One that could be expected to last over a month, with four or five consecutive weekends spent raking abundant leaves onto a weathered green tarp, and then dragging said tarp to the side of the yard to dump pile after pile after pile of brown crinkly yard waste where the grass met the road. But, I did love gazing out your living room, kitchen and bedroom windows and watching the spring and summer leaves on the branches of your old and wise trees blow about in the breeze. I did sometimes worry that during bad storms one of the branches on your biggest tree—the one closest to the house—might crack and strike our house and impale one of us in our sleep. So, thanks again for keeping that from ever happening.

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Nora among the many fall leaves.


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And years later, doing her own part to help.

House—in the beginning, I loved mowing your lawn. The riding mower was new to me. A challenge to be learned. As a teenager, I was never allowed to mow the grass at our childhood home. My mother had suffered from an unfortunate mowing accident, whereupon running over a piece of rusty metal wire, the sole of her sneaker was pierced by the same flying wire debris, which resulted in a broken bone in her foot. And no Yost child ever partaking in the mowing of the lawn thereafter.

Somewhere in the middle, I detested mowing your lawn. When Liam got busy at work, it meant that one of the two of us had to spend two hours of our only weekend day off together mowing. Precious time we wanted to spend with each other.

Toward the end, I both loved and hated mowing your lawn. Yes, it was a time sucker. But it also provided me precious free time to escape being a mom for just a little bit. For two hours every other weekend, I got to zone out and enjoy the peace and meditation that came from mindlessly weaving linear patterns back and forth across your yard. Perhaps most importantly, mowing your lawn provided me precious opportunities to show my daughters that girls can cut grass just as well as (if not better than!) boys. We would have included the kids more in mowing but for your mower’s loud ass engine as well as its shifty seat which liked to wobble dangerously from time to time.

Remember the year of the bountiful cut flower garden? It had always been a dream of mine to grow a patch of flowers from which I could cut fresh stems to bring inside and display colorful bouquets. The neighbors oohed and aahed over you. We never could quite get you to grow to the fullness of that one summer. Liam insists it’s because he planted the seeds that first time, not me, that the garden flourished. Hmmpf! It’s not my fault the rabbits were particularly hungry in subsequent years.

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Nora and our cut flower garden in all their glory.

We cut our gardening teeth on your soil. In addition to flowers, we grew vegetables and planted blueberry bushes. We composted halfheartedly off and on over the years. We experimented with canning, pickling and preserving foods like cucumbers, asparagus, strawberry jam, and tomatoes—always a scene of frenzied chaos!

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Frances and her basil leaves.


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Nora with one of the caterpillars who so loved our dill.

Another beloved outdoor space of ours—your front porch—was home to many creative and hands-on projects. We made art there with sidewalk chalk, paints and natural materials. We husked corn and ripped kale. We smushed ants—well, at least the four-year-old did. We blew bubbles and whistles and screamed at the top of our lungs at passersby. We swung on the hammock swing and sat on the steps to pass the time and wait for Daddy to get home. We danced in rain puddles and stomped around in snow.

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Sitting on the front steps wearing classic expressions.


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The setting for many photo shoots gone awry.


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Finger painting in the water table.


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Sidewalk chalking.


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Ripping kale leaves for dinner.

For sure, the space that most evolved over the years was the bedroom. In the beginning, there were just two people sharing a giant king-sized bed. If we had to give away all but one piece of furniture in our home, I am sure my husband and I would agree we could not part with the bed. It is that comfortable. Our safe haven.

One of my most vivid and meaningful memories of our time spent under your roof involves that bed. One evening, in late fall of 2011, Liam and I had just finished rearranging the bedroom furniture. I was five or six months pregnant with Nora at the time, and we were making space to accommodate some new things for the baby. We pushed the bed under one of the windows in the bedroom, and then stopped to enjoy a moment of rest on the bare, plush mattress whose sheets were being cleaned in the laundry. We snuggled up side-by-side in the dark, with the window cracked open, so we could enjoy the cool breeze. We lay quietly for a time, appreciating the stillness. Then, rather abruptly, I started to cry. I confessed that I had been worried about what having a new baby might do to change the relationship I had with Liam. I felt that although I was excited about the new baby, I was somehow mourning in that moment, the loss of the two of us. We would soon be three. Our lives would change forever. We agreed that although we decidedly would change, we would strive to always make time to be two again.

Many years later, our lives have changed. Sometimes beyond recognition. Sometimes not. We no longer binge watch TV shows on the couch. Or stay up late just hanging out. Or cuddle up without some clinger wedging herself in between us. But, we still make time for date night. Well, at least once every few months. And we still make each other laugh out loud. If one were to walk into the bedroom now, one would see how we have wedged a twin bed up against our beloved king—an accommodation we made just two months ago to include everyone in the family bed. I admit it’s a tad bit ridiculous. But it works for us. I still lie under that window and feel the breeze from time to time and remember that moment years ago, and thank God for how lucky and blessed we all are to have each other.

The twin pushed against the king family bed.

Over the years we have ensconced ourselves safely inside your bedroom walls. Sleeping, dreaming, bonding, nursing, cuddling. Waking. Waking. Always waking. Your walls have heard our nighttime whisper curses being flung about here and there through teething spells, stomach bugs and that infant developmental bullshit where babies just decide to be up for no good reason at all but to piss their parents the fuck off. You have heard us say time and again, “Why the hell don’t we have cribs for our fucking children?!” And yet, we have remained steadfast in our desire to sleep next to our babies. We have grown our family of just two to a very full FIVE. We believe our children are becoming affectionate, confident, independent and empathetic beings as a result of sharing this sleeping space with us (if not also attached). But one day they will be gone, and these memories will remain.

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The three little bears snuggled up in their bed.


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That time when we moved two twin beds into the second bedroom that was once a playroom, and then a Nora-Daddy bedroom, hopeful that the girls would sleep together in there, but then just became a playroom again, only with two unused beds in there.

I think, perhaps, the room I liked least in your space was the bathroom. Mostly because I abhorred cleaning it. Remember those three or four times when I lost or left house keys somewhere out and about, and had to break in through the only open window in the house—the bathroom window. I always made quite a scene when that happened. Thanks for being open, though. We woulda been screwed if you hadn’t been.

We loved building fires in your fireplace and making blanket forts in just about every room. We used your walls to adorn photographs of our loved ones and artwork made by little hands. We spread cushions on the floor and bounced around on them. We had picnics with fake food and picnics with real food on that same floor. We said prayers together at meal times and prayers at bedtime. We watched way too much PBS Kids (especially in recent days, what with all the packing that’s been going on) and built towers of wooden blocks again and again and again.

Remember that magical Christmas Eve when Liam made seafood fra diavolo for dinner, and he and I talked about how blessed we were to have had such special grandparents in our lives? And then he proposed. Do you remember how I said yes? And how we laughed and laughed afterwards? He still makes that same meal now every Christmas Eve. It’s become a tradition that began at a table in your dining room, and will continue on for years to come.

Remember also the time my water broke at 2:00 a.m. and we rushed off to the hospital? Sorry about that mucous plug that dropped on your floor. I had no idea it was coming. Really. It scared the shit out of me, too. I was fortunate to begin to labor with the other two babies under your roof as well, but in a much calmer state than the first time around. Each time we brought home a child from the hospital, we enjoyed peaceful days of sitting on the couch getting to know her or him. Then, there were the sleepless nights. Not so soon forgotten.

You gave our children their first sense of feeling part of a community, a neighborhood. There is Mr. Larry and Mrs. Betty right next door. They ADORE the kids. They’ve told us time and again how they have loved watching the kids grow up in the backyard from the sunroom behind their house. They recall fondly the way Nora waddled about when she first learned to walk, and how she chased around after the wiffle golf balls Liam would hit about when working on his swing.

Then there’s Tim and Deb across the street. I’ll never forget the first Halloween after we moved in. Liam had been working late in Harrisburg. I saw Tim and Deb huddled up in winter weather gear passing out candy to the neighborhood youngsters. They had coozies of beer in one hand, and Twizzlers in another. I left my bowl of candy when I saw them, went in to grab my winter hat with the ear flaps, and trudged across the street carrying my own beer in a coozy to join them. Because why the hell not?

Miss Isabel is next to them, and beyond that house, Mrs. Dorothy and Mr. Charlie, along with Snickers, the dog. Over the years, we loved watching out for Miss Isabel taking walks, and driving her car on errands, long after she was supposed to have given up driving on orders from her doctors. We loved spotting Mrs. Dorothy at church, in addition to looking out for her daily walks with Snickers. We enjoyed stopping to chat with everyone. Especially Miss Val, and her pooch sidekick Potsie. Miss Val always had all the news of the neighborhood and always greeted the kids with genuine concern for their wellbeing.

Our girls made their first little friends in your neighborhood too. In the beginning, there was Tella. And then her little sister, Emme. More recently, we’ve befriended Avery and Katie. A gaggle of girls.

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The girls: Frances, Nora, and best buddy Tella.


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The neighborhood gaggle o’ gals.

We so enjoyed walking the streets of your neighborhood and getting to know our neighbors. We always made our loop around the ‘new’ neighborhood (which one friend recently dubbed the ‘rich’ neighborhood—ha!) and then figure-eighted back around to your neighborhood, our neighborhood—the old neighborhood. We rode trikes, bikes, friends’ scooters, strollers. We carried babies in wraps, slings, backpacks, Bjorns, and Ergos. We ran, walked, marched, sang, skipped, hopped, jumped, and held hands. We sometimes threw ourselves down on your streets because things were not going our way and cried. We spied pumpkins, Christmas decorations, pets, cars and trucks, sewage drains, stop signs and the occasional running water. We collected pinecones, acorns, leaves, bugs and rocks. We happily exchanged books at the Free Little Library in front of Deborah’s house.

Strollin’ with the babies.


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Cranky Franky on the trike.

And so house, in just five days’ time, a moving truck will pull into your driveway, and we will pack up our belongings and move north to Connecticut. I don’t know who will live in you next, but I hope it is a young family who will find you charming in precisely all the ways we did. And will be willing to overlook and put up with all that’s wrong with you—like the summertime ants, the deathtrap basement stairs, the damn portable dishwasher that hooks up to the sink, and the broken front screen door which my nephew Desmond ripped off its hinge, and which we never made time to fix. Oh, and the cable that fell down in the back alleyway during a storm years ago. I’ve called Comcast to come and fix it about five times over the years. I’m sorry to say that to this day they’ve never responded. Maybe your future tenants will have better luck.

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This little guy learned to crawl in your rooms and ate his first meals of broccoli and squash here. He will learn to walk under a new and different roof. And his first taste of ice cream will be elsewhere too.

We are looking forward to moving on to someplace new. But we are sad to be leaving behind the home—your home—in which we have had so many happy memories, and a neighborhood in which we’ve made so many wonderful friends. We will not soon forget you. Know that we will be back to visit. In drive-bys and walkthroughs, I am certain our paths will cross again.

In the meantime, don’t be lonely. This winter will be sure to bring back the mice. And then, the summertime ants will be just around the corner.

With deep love, gratitude and affection,

The Powers Family

Stitches, burns and a broken arm. They say bad things happen in threes, so we should be good now, right?

I was in ninth grade the first time I broke a bone—my nose. How old was I then? 14? 15? I’d been warming up in the outfield before an away game. I remember feeling nervous because I was one of the youngest players on the varsity team. I was afraid I was going to make a mistake and let everyone down. That afternoon, my coach hit a fly ball for me to catch, and I lost track of it in the sun. Nevertheless, I held my glove out and up in an attempt to catch the ball. Instead, I caught the ball with my face.

A year later—the following summer—I had been visiting my grandparents down in North Carolina all by myself. With no parents. One afternoon, while attempting to retrieve some ice, I pulled open the handle of the freezer door a bit too quickly, and a frozen beer mug—a staple in the Herb and Mary Yost freezer—crashed to the tiled kitchen floor around my feet. A shard of glass split the skin on the inside of my left ankle. My grandfather drove me to the nearby urgent care center where I got my first set of stitches.

I think I was pretty lucky to have made it to my teen years without having had much prior injury. My four-year-old, however, has not been so lucky.

Things first got grisly this past winter, a week or two before Christmas, when Nora was technically still three. One evening, she had been running from the living room into the kitchen when she tripped and fell and hit her head on the leg of the dining room table. I had been six months pregnant with Rowan at the time, and Frances and I had been enjoying our dinner. Liam had been in the car on his way home from work when it all went down. I called him right away and told him that I thought the open, bleeding wound would require more than just a compress and a bandage. I asked him to meet me at the urgent care center down the street from our house.

When all was said and done, Nora ended up needing four stitches. Liam stayed with her the whole time and said she did great. She never cried when they numbed and stitched her up. Instead, she talked and joked nonstop with the doctor, nurse and with Liam. That’s our girl.

 

In the lobby at urgent care.

  

Thoroughly enjoying her post-op holiday treat.

 
                     ———–

I detailed Nora’s second encounter with danger when I wrote about the fireworks incident five or six blog posts back.
                     ———–

Then, a few weeks ago, Nora broke her arm. We had been at a birthday party for a neighborhood friend. It was at one of those indoor bounce places. We’d been to that bounce place several times before with no exciting incidents. 

At the time of Nora’s injury, I had been sitting next to Frances on a bench. Nora had been running in and out of some houses close by, but I hadn’t had my eyes on her, trusting she knew where to find me if she needed me.

I was talking to Frances when Nora came running up to me crying and holding her arm. “Mommy, Mommy,” she cried. “I broke my arm!”

I held her close and—essentially—laughed behind her back and rolled my eyes at the other adults standing nearby, thinking: Yeah, right. She’s just being dramatic. Broke her arm. Really? Hahaha.

However, the longer I held her and tried to calm her, the more I could see she was really hurting. Still, I didn’t think she had broken her arm. She’s got a history of suffering from elbow injuries. 

The first time this ever happened, Nora had been just eighteen months old. She’d been holding Liam’s hand while walking up the steps to the babysitter’s house when she slipped and lost her footing. Liam held tight to her arm and she dislocated her elbow.

We hadn’t known it at the time. She had cried, but Liam went on his way to work thinking she would eventually calm down.

When I came to pick Nora up after work, the sitter told us about how Nora had held her arm close to her side all day, and winced and whined every time she had had to move it. Gratefully, the sitter shared with us her thoughts on the injury, since her son had suffered from a similar injury—a pulled elbow—before.

I took Nora directly to urgent care, where, after I explained what had happened, the doctor confirmed the sitter’s suspicions. The doctor performed a reduction on Nora’s arm. She basically just extended Nora’s forearm, and then bent her elbow, pushing her hand and lower arm up toward her shoulder. This had been incredibly painful for Nora, but the moment the ligament went back into place, there had been instantaneous relief from the pain she’d been dealing with all day. 

The second time Nora’s elbow joint slipped, my mom had been playing with her at my house. Nora had been lying on her back on the floor and had reached out her arms to my mom to be lifted up off of the ground. My mom pulled on Nora’s arms a little too hard, while yelling “Whee!” and Nora’s elbow got injured again. Frances was an infant then, and I remember playfully thanking my mom for coming over for a quick visit, only to injure my child and then not even stick  around to help see us off to urgent care (she had had an appointment, I think, and felt terrible about not being able to accompany us to the doctor. Liam had been at work. Shocker.).

The third time Nora hurt her elbow I was prepared. I had seen the doctors reset her arm twice and had watched a Youtube video on how to fix a pulled elbow. So, I attempted to fix it myself, and it worked! Since then—and that was over a year ago—we hadn’t had any issues.

So, when Nora said she had broken her arm at the bouncy house, I assumed it was just another dislocated elbow. But I hadn’t seen her fall. And she said that she had landed on it, not pulled it. Additionally, the way her arm was shaking made me not want to mess around with it. So, before the girls got to enjoy any cake, we had to leave to drive to urgent care (including the above mentioned incidents, along with a minor head bump injury when she was just sixteen months old, this would have been Nora’s sixth visit to urgent care). We are still hoping there is not some kind of file on our family and Nora’s injuries at CYA (the local agency tasked with investigating cases of abuse and neglect concerning children).

Liam had been home watching Rowan, so he met the girls and me at urgent care. Liam and I were so puzzled as to why Nora had said she’d broken her arm. We weren’t sure how she knew what that meant, unless a classmate had had a broken bone, or she’d seen it on TV in a movie or a show.  Liam asked if she had heard a noise when she landed on her arm, or felt anything funny. She said she hadn’t. We asked her how this injury felt different from her other elbow injuries. She wasn’t able to tell us.

As we sat in the waiting room, an exasperated Liam asked her, “Well how do you know it’s broken?!”

“Daddy!” she admitted, “I don’t even know what broken means!”

Well, clearly, she must’ve. The doctor gently tried to put her elbow back into place in case it was dislocated. When that didn’t offer any immediate relief, they x-rayed her arm and discovered a small fracture in the humerus at the elbow. Nora had been right all along. And, of course, I felt like a big asshole for having laughed at her after her fall. Mom of the year! 

She’s been in a bright pink cast now  for a few weeks. It comes off a week from Tuesday and hopefully all will be well in her little world again. She sure is one accident prone kid! And a brave one at that. ❤️

  

The giant urgent care splint.

   

The much less bulky orthopedic doctor splint.

  

And, the bright pink accessory–er, cast, I mean.

 

2015: The year of the overgrown garden. 

Earlier this afternoon I was rocking the baby in a chair on the porch. I happened to glance over at one of our potted plants and noticed how desiccated it had become. Yup, that’s about right, I thought. 

Sorry, plant, I used to take great care of the likes of you, but–if I’m being honest–I couldn’t give two shits that you haven’t been watered but two times in the past month when it just so happened to rain.

The same could be said for my feelings about our lawn. It hasn’t been mowed in about three weeks, and parts of it are looking like the African savanna, capable of concealing a mid-sized aardvark, at least. I’m surprised the landlord hasn’t shown up yet with a notice of eviction.

And the poor, poor flower garden. I had such high hopes for it. Funny how lack of water causes the flowers to dry out and shrivel up, but somehow the weeds still grow sky high. It’s just not right. 

Finally, let’s not forget the cherry tomato plants. You know, the ones we didn’t plant, but continue to grow nonetheless. Perhaps their growth sprang forth from carefully cultured compost of years past. 

Initially, it appeared as though there were three separate plants growing in the small bed off the back of the house. Back in June, Liam tended to them once when he properly staked them all. Now, however, they have morphed into one giant mass of green vines and tiny yellow and red spheres, that seems to grow just as wide as it does high, threatening to overtake a small child should she happen to carelessly wander by. 

I rather enjoyed sending the girls outside to pick some tomatoes a time or two earlier this summer–when the plants were far more tame–just to keep them busy for twenty minutes. It’s not like I was going to cook anything with the little suckers. Gone are the days (at least for now–for me) of home-cooked meals. When I’m in charge of “cooking,” that usually looks like dinners of eggs, or cheese quesadillas, paired with yogurt and raw fruits and veg. Sometimes roasted broccoli makes a rare appearance.

Gratefully, Liam still finds the energy and motivation to really cook for us a couple of nights a week, when he’s not getting home from work at 8:00, tomatoes included.

Anyway, I guess I’m thankful we never really had time to have guests over to enjoy a meal outside this summer at our new picnic table–which Liam’s brother crafted for us in about two hours this past Memorial Day. I would have been too embarrassed to have to ask guests to nevermind the knee-high weeds growing up through the cracks in the patio stone while they were eating their dinner, brushing itchily against their bare legs. I suppose we could have included garden shears at each place setting. You know, have our friends and family help us out with some chores whilst breaking bread together.

Most days I feel like we are barely keeping our heads above water. I have to keep reminding myself that these are the best days of our lives. Weeds and all.

Every once in awhile we like to get a little yokel.

What is yokel, you ask? And rightly so. I didn’t know what it meant until two minutes ago when I googled synonyms for redneck. These days, redneck is offensive and derogatory. I get it. So yokel, or white trash, provincial, hillbilly. Whatever.

Occasionally—well, maybe more than that, but less than frequently—we find that one of us is ready to leave the house in a hurry, with or without kids, but the car we need to use is parked in by the car that we don’t need to use. This has much to do with car seat availability, as one car is equipped with seats for all three kids, and one can hold only two. And also grown-up availability. Like I said, one of us usually needs to leave ten minutes ago, and the other, is running around inside the house like a chicken with its head cut off.

Typically, in a predicament such as this, one responsible party would go move the second car in the driveway so the first car in the driveway could easily back out and go on its way. However, as we have neither good sense, nor responsible parties in this house, we sometimes practice hillbilly-ish-ness (I’m fairly certain this is a word. Go look it up).

This hillbilly-ish-ness looks like this: driver of the first car getting into the car (again, with or without kids), and then—while the second car in the driveway remains in its place—proceeding to drive right down the hill of the lawn, in between the two large shade trees and onto the street.

This kids get such a kick out of this when they are in the car. After giggling a few moments, they say, “Look at us, mommy! Isn’t this so silly! We’re driving down the hill on the grass.” And then, more giggles.

Silly indeed. What the neighbors must think of this when they happen to see us, I’ve no idea. I’m hoping it makes them chuckle and shake their heads. Not call the police, our landlord, or Child Protective Services.

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Husband getting ready to go to work. He was late, and so couldn’t move the other car. I was hustling kids around, so I couldn’t do it either.


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The solution? Drive down the hill, of course!


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The end result. One car parked abnormally far back in the driveway.