Nora asked me tonight as we were driving whether I thought she ought to marry a boy or a girl when she grows up. I told her she should marry whomever she loves.
“But who mommy? A boy or a girl?” She really wanted me to give her a definitive answer.
“I can’t tell you that,” I said. “You’ll just have to wait and see.”
I’ll admit, it was really hard for me to just leave it at that. To not say something like: Well, most girls marry boys. I didn’t want to color my thinking—and therefore, her developing worldview—one way or the other.
Most of the married couples close to Nora are ones who are involved in heterosexual relationships. However, we’ve spoken briefly about the many kinds of relationships that exist between people, both romantic and platonic. It’s natural she’d ask since we haven’t conditioned her to think one way or another.
Although marriage is a long way away, it’s important to me that Nora be aware of and accepting of all healthy and loving relationships, no matter the gender of couples involved. Most importantly, I want her to learn from an early age that she can express her feelings freely—always—without worrying she will be judged by me.
I did put my foot down, though, when Nora next told me that she was going to marry forty people when she grows up.
“Oh no, dear,” I said. “The rule is, you only get to choose one.”