Category Archives: NoraTalk

Heard around the house.

Liam: “Are you sleepy Frances?”

Frances: “No. I just tired.”

———————–

Nora: “Daddy. In how many months is Mommy’s birthday?”

Liam: “Four. What do you think we should get Mommy for her birthday?”

Nora: “Mommy? What is your most favorite thing to play with? Ever?”

Me: (thinking…)

Frances: (interjecting) “Eyebrows!”

Me: Umm. What?!

Nora: “Oh! I’ve got a great idea! A jack-in-the-box!”

Apparently my kids do not know me at all.

———————–

And, a day just wouldn’t be complete without a question or two about God and/or Heaven.

Nora: “Mama? Does God have a million eyes?”

Me: “I’m not sure. Why?”

Nora: “Because that’s how he can see everyone all the time.”

Me: “Oh. Well, maybe.”

—–

Nora: “Mom? How did God make the first baby, like ever, without a mom or something like that?”

Me: “I don’t know, Nora. But that’s a really great question.”

—–

Nora: “You wanna know my favorite place in the whole world?”

Me: “Huh?”

Nora: “Heaven. Because Daddy said you can get all the chocolate ice cream and cake you ever want when you get there.”

Me: “Yep.” (gulp!)

—–

And finally:

Nora: “Was God ever a baby?”

Me: “No, I don’t think so.”

Nora: “I think he was. Like a long time ago. Before he made the dinosaurs and all that stuff.”

———————–

Nora: “Mom? You know what I wanna be when I grow up?”

Me: “What’s that, honey?”

Nora: “A doctor. So I can take care of people when they’re sick.”

Me: “Well. That would be great.”

Frances: “When I be a grown up I wanna cut fruit.”

Me: “OK.” (pause) “Well, that would be great too!”

Heaven help us.

Stitches, burns and a broken arm. They say bad things happen in threes, so we should be good now, right?

I was in ninth grade the first time I broke a bone—my nose. How old was I then? 14? 15? I’d been warming up in the outfield before an away game. I remember feeling nervous because I was one of the youngest players on the varsity team. I was afraid I was going to make a mistake and let everyone down. That afternoon, my coach hit a fly ball for me to catch, and I lost track of it in the sun. Nevertheless, I held my glove out and up in an attempt to catch the ball. Instead, I caught the ball with my face.

A year later—the following summer—I had been visiting my grandparents down in North Carolina all by myself. With no parents. One afternoon, while attempting to retrieve some ice, I pulled open the handle of the freezer door a bit too quickly, and a frozen beer mug—a staple in the Herb and Mary Yost freezer—crashed to the tiled kitchen floor around my feet. A shard of glass split the skin on the inside of my left ankle. My grandfather drove me to the nearby urgent care center where I got my first set of stitches.

I think I was pretty lucky to have made it to my teen years without having had much prior injury. My four-year-old, however, has not been so lucky.

Things first got grisly this past winter, a week or two before Christmas, when Nora was technically still three. One evening, she had been running from the living room into the kitchen when she tripped and fell and hit her head on the leg of the dining room table. I had been six months pregnant with Rowan at the time, and Frances and I had been enjoying our dinner. Liam had been in the car on his way home from work when it all went down. I called him right away and told him that I thought the open, bleeding wound would require more than just a compress and a bandage. I asked him to meet me at the urgent care center down the street from our house.

When all was said and done, Nora ended up needing four stitches. Liam stayed with her the whole time and said she did great. She never cried when they numbed and stitched her up. Instead, she talked and joked nonstop with the doctor, nurse and with Liam. That’s our girl.

 

In the lobby at urgent care.

  

Thoroughly enjoying her post-op holiday treat.

 
                     ———–

I detailed Nora’s second encounter with danger when I wrote about the fireworks incident five or six blog posts back.
                     ———–

Then, a few weeks ago, Nora broke her arm. We had been at a birthday party for a neighborhood friend. It was at one of those indoor bounce places. We’d been to that bounce place several times before with no exciting incidents. 

At the time of Nora’s injury, I had been sitting next to Frances on a bench. Nora had been running in and out of some houses close by, but I hadn’t had my eyes on her, trusting she knew where to find me if she needed me.

I was talking to Frances when Nora came running up to me crying and holding her arm. “Mommy, Mommy,” she cried. “I broke my arm!”

I held her close and—essentially—laughed behind her back and rolled my eyes at the other adults standing nearby, thinking: Yeah, right. She’s just being dramatic. Broke her arm. Really? Hahaha.

However, the longer I held her and tried to calm her, the more I could see she was really hurting. Still, I didn’t think she had broken her arm. She’s got a history of suffering from elbow injuries. 

The first time this ever happened, Nora had been just eighteen months old. She’d been holding Liam’s hand while walking up the steps to the babysitter’s house when she slipped and lost her footing. Liam held tight to her arm and she dislocated her elbow.

We hadn’t known it at the time. She had cried, but Liam went on his way to work thinking she would eventually calm down.

When I came to pick Nora up after work, the sitter told us about how Nora had held her arm close to her side all day, and winced and whined every time she had had to move it. Gratefully, the sitter shared with us her thoughts on the injury, since her son had suffered from a similar injury—a pulled elbow—before.

I took Nora directly to urgent care, where, after I explained what had happened, the doctor confirmed the sitter’s suspicions. The doctor performed a reduction on Nora’s arm. She basically just extended Nora’s forearm, and then bent her elbow, pushing her hand and lower arm up toward her shoulder. This had been incredibly painful for Nora, but the moment the ligament went back into place, there had been instantaneous relief from the pain she’d been dealing with all day. 

The second time Nora’s elbow joint slipped, my mom had been playing with her at my house. Nora had been lying on her back on the floor and had reached out her arms to my mom to be lifted up off of the ground. My mom pulled on Nora’s arms a little too hard, while yelling “Whee!” and Nora’s elbow got injured again. Frances was an infant then, and I remember playfully thanking my mom for coming over for a quick visit, only to injure my child and then not even stick  around to help see us off to urgent care (she had had an appointment, I think, and felt terrible about not being able to accompany us to the doctor. Liam had been at work. Shocker.).

The third time Nora hurt her elbow I was prepared. I had seen the doctors reset her arm twice and had watched a Youtube video on how to fix a pulled elbow. So, I attempted to fix it myself, and it worked! Since then—and that was over a year ago—we hadn’t had any issues.

So, when Nora said she had broken her arm at the bouncy house, I assumed it was just another dislocated elbow. But I hadn’t seen her fall. And she said that she had landed on it, not pulled it. Additionally, the way her arm was shaking made me not want to mess around with it. So, before the girls got to enjoy any cake, we had to leave to drive to urgent care (including the above mentioned incidents, along with a minor head bump injury when she was just sixteen months old, this would have been Nora’s sixth visit to urgent care). We are still hoping there is not some kind of file on our family and Nora’s injuries at CYA (the local agency tasked with investigating cases of abuse and neglect concerning children).

Liam had been home watching Rowan, so he met the girls and me at urgent care. Liam and I were so puzzled as to why Nora had said she’d broken her arm. We weren’t sure how she knew what that meant, unless a classmate had had a broken bone, or she’d seen it on TV in a movie or a show.  Liam asked if she had heard a noise when she landed on her arm, or felt anything funny. She said she hadn’t. We asked her how this injury felt different from her other elbow injuries. She wasn’t able to tell us.

As we sat in the waiting room, an exasperated Liam asked her, “Well how do you know it’s broken?!”

“Daddy!” she admitted, “I don’t even know what broken means!”

Well, clearly, she must’ve. The doctor gently tried to put her elbow back into place in case it was dislocated. When that didn’t offer any immediate relief, they x-rayed her arm and discovered a small fracture in the humerus at the elbow. Nora had been right all along. And, of course, I felt like a big asshole for having laughed at her after her fall. Mom of the year! 

She’s been in a bright pink cast now  for a few weeks. It comes off a week from Tuesday and hopefully all will be well in her little world again. She sure is one accident prone kid! And a brave one at that. ❤️

  

The giant urgent care splint.

   

The much less bulky orthopedic doctor splint.

  

And, the bright pink accessory–er, cast, I mean.

 

Kids and their dreams.

A few weeks ago Nora expressed some concern about going to sleep. She told me that she doesn’t like going to bed because she just lies in bed thinking bad thoughts before she is able to fall asleep. She also admitted to having bad dreams.

Saddened, I asked her why she hadn’t said anything to me before that point about the trouble she’d been having. I told her that she needed to talk to her dad or to me when she was worried about things like this. I also told her to think about good, happy thoughts before she fell asleep.

“I can’t, mommy,” she said. “My body just won’t let me.” (insert sad face here)

This from a kid who has twirled her hair, gently picked at her lips, and/or rubbed her eyebrows anxiously as she’s fallen asleep, since she was a toddler. This from a kid who appears to be both contemplating the world’s problems as well as coming up with ways to solve them, all before 8:00 p.m. each night. Our ever-thinking, always-wondering child. A product of her mother, for sure.

I asked Nora to talk a little bit about some of the bad thoughts and dreams that she had been having. This is what she told me:

“I have two bad dreams, mommy. The first one is…well…I can’t really explain it. Something eats me. It’s like a deer or something, and it just eats me. And the second one is, I get runned over by a car. And I just lay there in the road and there’s no one to help me.”

It was extremely hard for me to not bust out laughing after her first admission. Eaten by a deer? She’s kidding, right? But I felt so sad for her after she revealed the scary contents of her second dream. I wondered: Where does this come from? From talking to my niece and nephew? (They are sometimes a concerning source of content much-too-mature for my four-year-old). I mean, I do talk from time to time about why we need to have green and red lights on the road as well as wear seat belts, so that we can be safe, but don’t get into much more detail than that.

Hmmm….There was a day earlier this summer a colleague/friend came to the house to pick up some cloth diapers we can’t use anymore. She had a cast on her arm so we explained truthfully that the friend had been hit by a car, but that she was going to be OK. Maybe that’s where?

I did a little reading online about bad dreams and nightmares. It seems very normal and age-appropriate for Nora to be dealing with this now. Apparently, once little ones realize that there are real world dangers out there—eaten by a deer, maybe, not so much—they start to dream about potential hazards. Life changes can also trigger these imagined fears (me going back to work, Nora starting school again—all things we’d been recently talking about).

We spent a good deal of time talking about how dreams aren’t real although they can seem to be, and can be very scary. I told her that we were going to start saying prayers again at night, something we used to do, but had forgotten to do for some time. I’ve found that this is also a really good way to get Nora to be reflective about the day as well as teach empathy.

We run through all the “God bless” everybodies. Lately, it’s gone from mentions of specific, individual names to “God Bless every human on the earth.” Girlfriend already figured out the benefit of shortcuts.

Then we say special prayers. Things like, “God help Grandma’s knee feel better, and Titi’s burns to heal, and Grandpa’s sickness to go away.”

Next, we mention all the things for which we are grateful.

Then, mommy likes to add a plug for good behavior. “God help Nora and Frances to be kind to one another, and to be helpful, and to make good choices.” Lord knows, we need all the help we can get!

Finally, we ask for sweet and silly and funny dreams. “And, if we should happen to have bad dreams, may they pass quickly, and may we be reminded that they’re not real, and we only need to cuddle up with mommy or daddy to make them go away.”

We’ve been going on a couple of weeks now with no bad dreams. The power of prayer! Or positive suggestion. Or good energy. Or a combination of all three. Whatever it is, it’s nice to be participating in a nightly ritual once again where we are able to think outside of ourselves and our own needs.

Then, this weekend, there was this:

“Mom! I had a funny dream last night. Want to hear it?”

“Sure,” I said.

“Well, you and daddy were in it. And your friends. And we were all outside. You and daddy were on the back patio. And your friends were on their back patio, across the yard.”

Then she glanced toward the window, beyond which our back patio stood. Then she looked across to where our older, white-haired neighbors live—Mr. Larry and Mrs. Betty—and a confused look came across her face as she was trying to recall the exact details of the dream.

“Wait a minute. Was that your friends in the dream, or Mr. Larry? No, not Mr. Larry. It was friends. There was a mom and a dad friend. And the mom had hair like…it was short and blond. She looked like Tella’s Aunt Amy. Wait, was that Aunt Amy? I mean, Baby Lila’s mommy?”

I jumped in then to confirm, “Baby Lila’s mom is Aunt Amy.”

“Oh. Yeah. Aunt Amy then. Yeah, your friends, the mom one, looked just like her.” 

“That’s it?” I said, after a long pause and expectant look from Nora. “That was the end of the dream?”

“Yep.”

Just like that, bad dreams be gone (at least for now). And weird-ass nonsensical ones take their place. Sounds about right to me!

Heard around the house.

Nora: “Mom? Do you ever laugh?”

Me: “Ummm…yes.”

Nora: “When?”

She must’ve caught me on a bad day.

                         —————-

Nora: (singing a song to remember the days of the week) “Sunday, Monday…”

Frances: (cuts in) “Tuesday…Threes-day, Fours-day!”

So not right. But I love how she’s trying to apply what she knows. Ha! She’s a comedic genius already. And not even three years old!

                         —————-

The girls are super used to me being silly and speaking utter nonsense. That’s why I wanted to highlight the below conversation between Frances and me, since–without missing a beat–she replied to me in the same silly manner in which she was asked about the contents of her diaper.

Me: “Frances, you have any poopers in there?”

Frances: “No. Just peepers.”

                         —————-

Me: “I only got four munchkins. So, Nora, that’s two for you and two for Frances.”

Nora: (slyly) “Or, mama. It could be three for me and one for Frances.”

Me: “Yes, it could be. But it’s not.”

Nora: (giggles)

My budding mathematician.

                         —————-

Nora: “Mama. Know what I wanna be for Halloween?”

Me: “No. What?”

Nora: “A princess.”

Frances: “Know what I be, mama?”

Me: “What, Franny?”

Frances: “Goo-goo ga-ga head.”

Nora and Me: (hysterical laughter)

Always with the goo-goo ga-ga head, that one.

Anxiety Episode #13: While watching an up-close and intimate fireworks display, one of us becomes injured by a wayward spark.

All of of my anxiety posts to date have concerned events about which I’m fearful, but haven’t actually ever happened. The one I’m about to write about did. Last night. And it was terrifying.

For years and years my dad has been in charge of putting on a fireworks show for scuba divers and their families on the 4th of July. The show locale is on top of some limestone cliffs overlooking the Susquehanna River adjacent to the diving quarry where my dad has worked part-time off and on since the late 1980s.

The quarry and the land surrounding it was recently sold, so the owners of the dive shop there held one last picnic last night to celebrate. And, there was one last fireworks show to send things off with a literal bang.

My dad had always purchased the fireworks down in South Carolina, over the border from where his parents used to live. Each summer we took a vacation not only to visit the grandparents, but to pick up a stash of fireworks for the yearly tradition. We all had fun visiting the megastore and watching TV videos that displayed the look and sound of each firework sold. We also relished browsing the names of the fireworks, many of which were very redneck and/or super patriotic. Off the top of my head I recall: Blonde Joke, Here Come Da Judge, Uncle Sam’s Revenge, and Red, White and Boom.

Anyway, every year, as we hiked up to the cliffs with our lawn chairs and blankets, we discussed the possibility of one of the fireworks making its way into the crowd of onlookers instead of the sky, where it’s meant to explode. Although the risk and threat was always very real, we kind of laughed it off as an impossibility. The shows had always been very safe. Well, I think there may have been a year where there was a near miss, but everyone came out unscathed.

Last night, however, two of my family members suffered serious injuries as a result of a firework that had in its mind to fire directly into the crowd instead of up in the sky. Let me say they are both OK. It could have been much worse.

My oldest gal was laying on a blanket with my sister and her kids. The firework in question came up in between my sister and Nora. At the time I couldn’t tell what had happened. Instinctively, I turned away from the flash. I was standing behind everyone holding the baby in a carrier. Liam—who was holding our middle girl—later told me he jumped out of the chair he was sitting in, and ran down the hill shielding both him and her.

The next thing I remember, after the popping and flashing subsided, was hearing Nora screaming hysterically and seeing five or six people rush up to her, all the while yelling, “Take off her clothes! Take off her clothes!” Like I said, terrifying.

I was on the outside of the circle of people trying to care for her during the chaos and confusion, and—frustratingly—I couldn’t get to her. I remember feeling so relieved, though, when someone finally pulled her shirt over her head and I could see her perfect, uninjured little face through her tears. Liam finally picked her up, got her pants off, and, with the help of cell phone flash lights and head lamps, found the source of her pain—three burn marks on her outer thigh, one of which seemed pretty bad.

Someone decided we should call an ambulance and did. He or she later called to cancel it. Gratefully, a medic was part of the crowd of spectators and ran back to his car to get his burn kit. A few strangers let us use their nearby RV so Nora could be treated in a more comfortable, well lit area. It was there that I found out my sister had gotten burned too. Slightly worse than Nora. According to her, she jumped on top of Nora when the flash came and the firework went off in between them. The medic was able to treat her too, saving us all from a late-night trip to the ER.

Nora calmed down after the initial scare and was exceedingly brave. She sat naked on Liam’s lap in that RV eating chips and drinking juice that was offered to her, all the while cracking jokes with Mike the medic. She was amazing. She is amazing.

On the drive home, I was a mother hen chock full of adrenaline and cortisol, driving significantly below the speed limit in an attempt to keep my little chicks safe from further threat of danger.

Later, when we all got home and into bed, I kept agonizingly reliving the mini-explosion over and over again in my head. I kept seeing the bright flashes, hearing the pops and the screams, watching frantic hands undress my baby and then seeing her face, her injuries.

My heart broke all over again this morning when I found Nora’s clothing in the car. Her pants and shirt had burn holes in them and smelled of sulphur and fire. Ugh. Into the trash.

For now, though, Nora seems little bothered by her injuries (except for when it’s time to change the bandages). The adults close to her—my dad and brother especially, the show igniters 😉—were much more affected.

I’m busy trying not to dwell on the what-could-have-beens, and feeling grateful that Nora and my sister are OK. I’m trying to follow Nora’s brave lead and act as though what happened was no worse than a scrape on the knee from falling off a bike. I think she will have a bad scar, but hoping she won’t have much more of a memory of this time than that.

Unlike her mother, she seems pretty unfazed. Other than the fact she has vowed to never, ever, EVER, EVER again go see a fireworks show. Ever again. Ever. Like, ever, mama.

Like I said, amazing.

Heard around the house.

Liam: (in the midst of cleaning the kitchen) “So…that was interesting place you decided to put the spinach.”

Me: (in the bedroom, confusedThe spinach? That we ate during breakfast? “Huh? What are you talking about?”

Liam: “The spinach? I just found it inside the cupboard with the pots and the pans.”

Me: “What?! I didn’t put it in there.” Did I?

Liam: “You cleaned up after breakfast, didn’t you?”

Me: “I did?”

Two days later we are still confused as to who may have put the refrigerated spinach into the cupboard with the pots and the pans. Neither of us remembers doing so. Either we are both overworked and in need of a vacation, or we have a bogeyman living in the house that is fucking with us.

——————————-

In a moment of equal distraction, on the way to the lake this weekend:

Liam: (after making a left turn through a red light) “Did I just go through a red light?”

Me: (again, confused) “Huh?”

Liam: (looking back to confirm) “I did. I just went through a red light.”

Me: (not really phased) “At least you looked both ways before turning.”

Liam: (disgusted with self) “Jeez. I need to go back to bed.”

——————————-

Inside the car:

Frances: “Nora? Nora? Nora?”

Nora: (silence)

Frances: (persistently) “Nora? Nora? Mama, Nora not talking me.”

Me: (mildly annoyed) “Nora, please answer your sister when she’s talking to you.”

Nora: (calmly) “Mommy, I’m having quiet time. Can you tell Frances I’m not talking to her?”

Me: “No, you tell her, please.”

Nora: “Frances, I’m having quiet time now, so I’m not talking to you.”

Frances: (belligerent) “No! No quiet time! Nora? Nora? Nora? Nora? No fair! I be quiet time, too! I no talking anybody!”

——————————-

Somebody please, save us from ourselves.

Heard around the house.

Nora: (upon waking one morning last week) “You know that everybody dreams?”

Liam: “Uh-huh.”

Nora: “Well, everybody except for Santa and God. Because they don’t sleep, right?”

Liam: “Right.”

———————————

Our washing machine has been a bit wonky lately, so this past week I took the kids to my parents’ house so I could get some laundry done. My sister’s cats reside (mostly) in the laundry room there.

Me: (enthusiastically) “Frances, want to come with me to do laundry? We can see Titi Liz’s cats!”

Frances: (grumpily) “Me no like Titi’s cats.”

Me: (admittedly) “Me no like them either.”

———————————

And Frances, on a similar monologue rant of all the things which she does not like, while she was watching me make guacamole.

Frances: “Me no like awacado. Me no like uh-mato, Me no like onion or gar-lit. Was dat?”

Me: “Lime.”

Frances: “Me no like nime.”

Me: “What do you like?”

Frances: “Me like chips. An cookies. An ice-peem!”

Trying to keep it healthy here, folks!

———————————

Nora: “Mommy, when do you have to go back to work?”

Me: “August sometime.”

Nora: (disappointed) “Awww.”

Me: (thinking: ‘This is so sweet. She wants me to be a stay-at-home-mom forever.’) “Why?”

Nora: “I want you to go back to work tomorrow. And daddy too, so that Candace can watch us and Tella can come play.”

Me: (deflated) “Oh.”

Well, at least this is proof that we chose a great babysitter and that the kids love her. Couldn’t ask for a better situation than that! Ha!

Heard around the house.

Me: Nora, what did you have for snack at school today?

Nora: Pretzels. They were yellow. Circles and sticks. They were gluten.

Me: You mean they were gluten-free?

Nora: No, I mean they were gluten, not free.

—————

Nora: Mama, have you ever seen or heard of a scooter without handles? ‘Cause I just saw a brown shirt boy riding by on a scooter without handles.

Me: Yeah, it’s called a skateboard.

Nora: Oh. (giggles)

—————

Me: Frances, where’s Baby?

Frances: (sadly) Dunno. Me lost her!

Me: Oh no! You did?

Frances: (looking around, spotting Baby) Me find her!

Me: Oh good! Where was she?

Frances: She hiding. Under book.

(Love me some cave girl speak!)

—————

Frances: I ludge you, mama.

Me: I ludge you too, Franny.

Heard around the house.

Nora: “Did God have swim lessons when he was little, like me?”

Me: “No.”

Nora: “Why not?”

Me: “Because God was little a long, long time ago.”

Nora: “Like how long ago?”

Me: “Billions and billions of years.”

Nora: “Oh. And they didn’t have swim lessons then?”

Me: “No.”

                          —————

Me: “I spy, with my little eye, something orange.”

Frances: “The trees?”

Me: “Nope.”

Frances: “The grass?”

Me: “No.”

Frances: “The bushes?”

Me: “No, Frances. Those things are all green. Guess again.”

                          —————

Me: “Frances. I like your new purse.”

Frances: “Pizza in dere.”

Me: “What? Your pizza’s in there?!”

Frances: (holds purse open so I can look inside) “Pizza in dere.”

Me: (horrified) “No, Frances, honey! Get that out of there. We don’t put pizza in purses!”

Only, apparently, we do.

                          —————

Me: (extremely frustrated and cantankerous; at 2:30 a.m. at the start of breastfeeding session with Rowan, who was bumbling around like an animal trying unsuccessfully to latch) “What in the world? It’s not fucking rocket science! You’ve been doing this since the day you were born! Fucking eat!”

I asked my husband the following morning if he had overheard me cussing out our five-week-old in the middle of the night. He had. So ashamed.

Even though we have our moments, I sure do love the hell out of that little cuddle ball. Even when he forgets how to nurse and I’m dropping F-bombs on him left and right. I like to think of it as dropping F-bombs on the air, though. Not my boy. It’s just my way of venting. A necessity if I’m not going to lose my mind.

The evolution of Goo-goo Ga-ga Head.

I’m not sure from where they picked it up, but for months, when the girls have been playing at make-believe as babies, they’ve been saying, “Goo-goo, ga-ga,” (as no real baby has ever said).

Then, one day a few weeks ago, I heard them outside on the porch calling one another goo-goo ga-ga heads, and cracking each other up. It was pretty funny. Also a rare time they were genuinely getting along, which is always great to see.

Then, last Monday we picked up some library books after our weekly story hour outing. One was called Myrtle, and as we sat down to read it, we discovered, to our delight, there was a character in the book named Frances. 

Turns out a few pages into the story we learned, much to our horror, that Frances was a mean bully. Our Frances, being the sensitive spirit she is, immediately disliked the book upon hearing that she was so naughty. At least that was her interpretation.

“No like it, mama. No read it,” she said,  with a serious frown, and kept trying to shut the book. Of course, I found this to be hysterical. I did put away the book though.

Two days later Nora asked to read the book again. I told Nora to choose another story because we didn’t want to hurt Frances’s feelings again. 

Nora looked disappointed, and then quickly suggested that instead of reading the name Frances, we simply substitute a different name. 

After I told her this plan was a great idea, I asked Nora to tell me a name to use instead. She thought for a moment and then broke into a huge grin.

“How about Goo-goo Ga-ga Head?” she said.

“OK. Goo-goo Ga-ga Head it is,” I said.

I then proceeded to read the book, and each place I saw the name Frances, I read Goo-goo Ga-ga Head instead.

When Myrtle and her little brother went outside, Goo-goo Ga-ga Head sang mean songs and played mean tricks.

Genius.

Nearly every single time I said Goo-goo Ga-ga Head, Frances and I erupted into serious giggles. Nora just smiled and chuckled a little. I think she regretted the idea, wanting instead to just get on with the telling of the story.

Apparently, Nora’s far more mature than Frances and me. I mean, she’s more mature than Goo-goo Ga-ga Head and me. Go figure.